A FUN BUNCH OF GUYS KNOWN AS THE VIKINGS WERE
IN THEIR DOMINANT
PERIOD AND PREPARING TO INVADE FRANCE AND
ITALY. VLAD, AN
ESPECIALLY MEAN VIKING, WAS REALLY ANGRY BECAUSE
SOME PASTA HE ATE IN ROME WAS OVERCOOKED AND THEN A FRENCH GUY WOULDN'T
GIVE HIM DIRECTIONS TO THE BATHROOM, SO VLAD BURNED DOWN EVERYTHING IN
SIGHT AND WENT HOME HAPPY.
A EUROPEAN MATHEMATICIAN NAMED GERBERT WAS
CREDITED WITH THE INVENTION OF THE MECHANICAL CLOCK. HIS SISTER BEATRICE
INVENTED THE ALARM SEVERAL YEARS LATER. GERBERT GOT A PARADE
AND BEATRICE GOT A HEADACHE.
MAHMUD, THE MUSLIM RULER OF THE DAY, PLUNDERED
AND ANNEXED THE PUNJAB. OKAY, MAYBE NOT THAT IMPRESSIVE, BUT YOU'VE
GOT TO ADMIT THE TERM "ANNEXED THE PUNJAB" MAKES YOU WANT TO LAUGH.
LEIF ERICSON VISITED NORTH AMERICA. THE
INDIANS WELCOMED HIM.
BIG, BIG MISTAKE.
SO IN 999AD PEOPLE WERE APPARENTLY TOO TIRED
AND BUSY KEEPING
AWAY VIKINGS AND DEALING WITH THOSE CRAZY
BYZANTINES TO PLAN A
PROPER END OF MILLENNIUM PARTY. WITH
THE CRUSADES COMING COULD YOU REALLY BLAME THEM? SO LIFE WENT ON
SANS PARTY - THE CHINESE JUST PLAYED THEIR TEMPLE MUSIC ON THEIR ZITHERS,
THE SAXONS KEPT ON MINING COPPER AND IRON, ANGRY MUSLIMS DEFACED
TEMPLES IN INDIA AND THAT WAS THAT. THE ONLY PERSON WHO RANG IN THAT
NEW MILLENNIUM WAS PERENNIAL TEENAGER DICK CLARK.
SO, MAYBE YOU WEREN'T AROUND WHEN 999 TURNED
INTO 1000, BUT YOU
ARE HERE NOW! YOU'RE HERE FOR THE TURNING
OF THE NEXT
MILLENNIUM AND THAT MAKES YOU PRETTY LUCKY.
FOLKS, SOMETHING
THIS MONUMENTAL DOESN'T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN.
IT HAPPENS WELL,
EVERY 1000 YEARS. AND YOU'RE LUCKY
ENOUGH TO HAVE BEEN CHOSEN IN THE LIFE LOTTERY TO SEE IT. PUT IT
THIS WAY, YOUR KID'S KID'S KID'S
KID'S KID'S KID'S KID'S KID'S KIDS WON'T
BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE IT.
IMAGINE HOW JEALOUS THEY'LL BE. THE
NEXT TIME THIS TYPE OF EVENT
OCCURS WARS WILL BE ANCIENT HISTORY,
HUMANS WILL HAVE
COLONIZED SEVERAL PLANETS, COMPUTERS LIKE
THE ONE YOU'RE
LOOKING AT WILL BE DUG UP FROM ARCHEOLOGICAL
SITES AND THE SPICE GIRLS WILL BE LONG GONE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE BIG NIGHT?
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT
SITTING AT HOME AND BANGING ON POTS AND PANS.
YOU MUST
EXPERIENCE THIS MEGA-EVENT WITH FRIENDS,
FAMILY AND OLD
ACQUAINTANCES. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU
SAID, "I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS OR THAT PERSON ENOUGH" OR "WHAT IS THE
MEANING OF IT ALL AND HOW THE HELL DID I END UP WITH SO MANY MISMATCHED
SOCKS?" MAYBE YOU JUST NEED TO CUT LOOSE LIKE NEVER BEFORE
AND ANNEX YOUR PUNJAB. WHATEVER THE REASON, YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
BIG ON THIS BIGGEST OF NIGHTS.
HERE IS OUR IDEA. A SHORT YET EXOTIC
VACATION, A WILD PARTY AND
LOTS OF "ENTER THE YEAR 2000" MEMORIES.
. THIS EVENT WE ARE
PLANNING WON'T GUARANTEE PERFECT REUNIONS
OR EVEN ANSWERS TO
THOSE END-OF-MILLENNIUM PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS,
BUT WE CAN
PROMISE YOU FUN AND LOTS OF IT.
JOIN US IN BEAUTIFUL PALM SPRINGS!
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